[TLV] IC Inbox

[palissant]

[No response can be gained via comms. He isn't interested in making himself available that way.

If you want him, come find him.]

Comments

after pairings go up

[perfectly_average]

[A note is slide under his cabin door.]

Hello,

My name is Jamil Ashengrotto. I'd like to speak with you when you have a moment.

I will be in the library for most of the day, today, and then I will be at the Lounge door after scheduled dinner hours.

[palissant]

[It's probably unfortunately for Jamil that Verso doesn't use his cabin either, and so completely misses the note.

He does, however, use the library fairly often and so the other man will be able to find him there easily enough, even if their meeting isn't exactly anticipated.]

[perfectly_average]

[He manages to gather that, eventually, and... honestly? It gets a tiny smile out of him. Honestly, he should have at least guessed at the possibility, given he barely ever spent time in his own cabin, as an inmate.

But he does manage reconsider his approach, well enough, by the time he tracks his charge to the place he also spends time. He waits until the man doesn't seem to be busy with reading, and then he takes a deep breath and approaches the stranger. He makes a point of keeping his tone polite, but genuine.]

I'm sorry to bother you, suddenly... My name's Jamil. Are you Verso?

[palissant]

[There is a certain level of suspicion connected to someone approaching him already knowing his name. Maelle, he's sure, is being fairly free with it along with his description, so he initially assumes that this is something to do with her.

He sets down the book he had picked up to read next, leaning back a little in his chair.]

Yes, I'm Verso.

[perfectly_average]

I wanted to introduce myself properly, so you have a face to go with the name.

[There's no "nice to meet you" because he hates those, when it's related to... this.]

You can consider me whatever you like - within reason. But, to the Admiral, I'm now the guy who's probably meant to annoy you more than anyone else.

[He gives a bit of a wry smile.]

If you need anything you can't get on your own, or some other way, my cabin is 703.

[palissant]

[Ah.]

You needn't have wasted your time.

[Tracking him down, it seems, along with an unnecessary introduction... He hadn't even know the man's name before now. You miss a lot when you're completely eschewing comms access.]

I don't need anything from you. [A small shift in his seat as he thumbs the edge of the book's cover.] Is that all?

[This one is going to be hard work, Jamil.]

[perfectly_average]

Well... Good thing I didn't, then.

[He says that far too easily, with some sort of bemused patience on his face.]

That's good. [In Jamil's case, he means that things aren't bad enough for Verso to need help.] Not quite.

I'd like to meet you halfway. I can choose to not know where you are at all times... I'll give you my word to not even glance at the map, in fact.

[He holds his notebook up, which has a little map, showing Verso's location.]

All I ask is that you meet with me every other day. For... tea, coffee... whatever you prefer. Thirty minutes. We don't even have to talk, but I do happen to enjoy books a lot.

[palissant]

[Things are definitely bad. Just because a guy isn't committing mass homicide or setting himself on fire doesn't mean he doesn't need help. Verso's perfectly fine with Jamil thinking he doesn't need to step in, though... not that he'd let him anyway.

He doesn't even attempt to hide his openly disturbed disgust at seeing that the man can track him. No, he doesn't trust that Jamil will not use that even if he says he won't.]

That sounds more like me meeting you halfway.

[Verso pulls his attention from the notebook and opens the book in his hands.]

I refuse. I've no intention of playing at being friendly with someone complicit in my imprisonment.

[perfectly_average]

[Perhaps the better wording for him would be "bad enough to ask for help", but it'll be a fun adventure of him learning the reality as they go!

There is a reason Jamil showed the warden item, just like there's a reason he worded everything the way he did. He watches every reaction, listens to everything said, and he is patient all the way through. There it is, a sign of just how difficult this guy is going to be.

He takes a deep breath, and he nods.]

Good.

[That's all he says, at first, before he leans back in his seat.]

But it could be us meeting halfway... If you provided me with some kind of limit, or told me what you'd like me to sacrifice on my end. [He rests his chin in one hand.] Other than never, ever meeting with you.

[He makes a bit of a face.]

Please don't insult me by assuming I want you to play-pretend friendly, with me. I'd rather you tell me to go eat nails than force a compliment. But... fair warning, I happen to enjoy not getting along with someone.

[palissant]

My limit.

[As if that is actually something anyone cares about. Being here to begin with already pushes him far past that.]

I don't care what you want, or what you enjoy. [The single solitary positive to being here, if one can call it that, is that Verso has no need at all to pretend anything in order to make it easier for people to trust him.]

And your so-called sacrifices wouldn't mean anything no matter what demands I made. You can't manipulate me, one way or the other, into agreeing to having anything to do with you.

[His pale grey eyes aren't even particularly unkind. He just looks like he's barely even present behind them.]

Unless you intend to do it by force.

tw: unlife references

[perfectly_average]

[He quietly listens, watching Verso as carefully as before. Though something he says happens to sting. His jawline tightens, and then his gaze eases to the table. Without looking up, this time, he talks a little quieter.]

Sometimes... people happen to find someone enjoyable, because they remind them so much of something. Maybe another person, an event in their past. In this case, Verso...

[His own gray eyes hold determination within, even as his expression eases into something more tired.]

You happen to remind me of me. I highly doubt we have the same past... [Because this man doesn't read similar in a very specific area.] but when I first arrived on this ship, it was also by force. I was hellbent on not being helped, to a point that I ended up... [He grips one of his own shoulders.] making some really stupid decisions.

Regardless of that... I would never try to force trust. [His brow pinches.] And I'm nothing like the Admiral. I'm just a man who's died multiple times, tried and failed to simply vanish, and then happened... to find a reason to return here.

[palissant]

[It still reads as easy manipulation to him. The same kinds of things he would do to try to engender trust in someone suspicious of his motives - attempting to find common ground, appealing to empathy and sensitivity, giving out painful information about his past.

Verso has yet to make any particularly stupid decisions on the Barge, but that is largely because he doesn't have the emotional energy to bend towards doing so.]

Is this the part where I'm supposed to crack and tell you all my tragic secrets?

[He doesn't give away if anything about what was said was relatable.]

You're complicit. Here by choice to benefit from the system in this world. Whatever excuses or justifications you make to yourself doesn't change that. We're nothing alike, and I'm not here to entertain you or make you feel like you have a purpose.

[perfectly_average]

[He gives Verso a Look now, the calm exterior finally cracking just a little, and showing the potential of sass and snark within.]

Secrets aren't meant to be forced or manipulated out.

[Despite that... Jamil leans a little back, into his chair, briefly thinking that last part over. Or, rather... calming himself enough to say the next thing without venom:]

Verso. I need to make one thing very clear. [His expression is unmistakably serious, eyes holding a touch of fierceness.] The Admiral - you - could never be what gives me purpose. My husband, my life outside of this place is mine because I worked my ass off for it. My graduation from college, my business that I built from the ground up, my marriage, and my family... If I left here today, I would still have all of that, because it's what I earned.

Hell, I gave "my" first deal to my inmate, because he earned it - not me. Inmates are not some means to an end, and I would never insult myself nor my inmate by thinking of them as anything less than someone I'm dedicated to helping.

[Well, for what it's worth, Verso managed to see what's beneath the calm, careful exterior. Nothing he's said reads as planned.]

[palissant]

And I don't believe anything you're saying.

[He turns in his seat, resting his open book against one raised knee.]

You're back here because you want something. I don't care what it is. I don't care about you, your life, what you say you've done, what you want or what you say you've earned.

[Then, after a brief beat of a pause.]

I don't have anything to offer except to tell you that I don't need you. Find something better to do with your time than wasting it with somebody who doesn't want you hanging around.

[perfectly_average]

Mm... I don't expect you to believe me. But that just means I'll be able to say "I told you so" later.

If you want to see a change... you don't just say you want the change to happen; you aim to make it happen. And this system will only ever be as good as the wardens within it.

[He shrugs and shakes his head.]

Even the kindest, most loving individual in the universe has at least a thin layer of selfishness within their actions. That is the core of existence: we give, we receive.

[He spread his hands.]

We bond.

[palissant]

You sound like an idiot.

[He just... doesn't care. The sickly saccharine narrative being put to him isn't turning his mind.]

I don't have anything else to say to you. You can go and get on with your day.

[perfectly_average]

Yeah, I imagine I do.

[He can't help the wry smile. How many times did he call the others idiots?]

Alright, you don't have to respond. But I will be back to bother you. It won't be like this next time... or any time after. [He moves to stand, leaning to give him a serious look.] I promise.

[On that note, he will leave him to his thoughts. There is, naturally, a reason he is making that promise.]