[He quietly listens, watching Verso as carefully as before. Though something he says happens to sting. His jawline tightens, and then his gaze eases to the table. Without looking up, this time, he talks a little quieter.]
Sometimes... people happen to find someone enjoyable, because they remind them so much of something. Maybe another person, an event in their past. In this case, Verso...
[His own gray eyes hold determination within, even as his expression eases into something more tired.]
You happen to remind me of me. I highly doubt we have the same past... [Because this man doesn't read similar in a very specific area.] but when I first arrived on this ship, it was also by force. I was hellbent on not being helped, to a point that I ended up... [He grips one of his own shoulders.] making some really stupid decisions.
Regardless of that... I would never try to force trust. [His brow pinches.] And I'm nothing like the Admiral. I'm just a man who's died multiple times, tried and failed to simply vanish, and then happened... to find a reason to return here.
[It still reads as easy manipulation to him. The same kinds of things he would do to try to engender trust in someone suspicious of his motives - attempting to find common ground, appealing to empathy and sensitivity, giving out painful information about his past.
Verso has yet to make any particularly stupid decisions on the Barge, but that is largely because he doesn't have the emotional energy to bend towards doing so.]
Is this the part where I'm supposed to crack and tell you all my tragic secrets?
[He doesn't give away if anything about what was said was relatable.]
You're complicit. Here by choice to benefit from the system in this world. Whatever excuses or justifications you make to yourself doesn't change that. We're nothing alike, and I'm not here to entertain you or make you feel like you have a purpose.
[He gives Verso a Look now, the calm exterior finally cracking just a little, and showing the potential of sass and snark within.]
Secrets aren't meant to be forced or manipulated out.
[Despite that... Jamil leans a little back, into his chair, briefly thinking that last part over. Or, rather... calming himself enough to say the next thing without venom:]
Verso. I need to make one thing very clear. [His expression is unmistakably serious, eyes holding a touch of fierceness.] The Admiral - you - could never be what gives me purpose. My husband, my life outside of this place is mine because I worked my ass off for it. My graduation from college, my business that I built from the ground up, my marriage, and my family... If I left here today, I would still have all of that, because it's what I earned.
Hell, I gave "my" first deal to my inmate, because he earned it - not me. Inmates are not some means to an end, and I would never insult myself nor my inmate by thinking of them as anything less than someone I'm dedicated to helping.
[Well, for what it's worth, Verso managed to see what's beneath the calm, careful exterior. Nothing he's said reads as planned.]
[He turns in his seat, resting his open book against one raised knee.]
You're back here because you want something. I don't care what it is. I don't care about you, your life, what you say you've done, what you want or what you say you've earned.
[Then, after a brief beat of a pause.]
I don't have anything to offer except to tell you that I don't need you. Find something better to do with your time than wasting it with somebody who doesn't want you hanging around.
Mm... I don't expect you to believe me. But that just means I'll be able to say "I told you so" later.
If you want to see a change... you don't just say you want the change to happen; you aim to make it happen. And this system will only ever be as good as the wardens within it.
[He shrugs and shakes his head.]
Even the kindest, most loving individual in the universe has at least a thin layer of selfishness within their actions. That is the core of existence: we give, we receive.
[He can't help the wry smile. How many times did he call the others idiots?]
Alright, you don't have to respond. But I will be back to bother you. It won't be like this next time... or any time after. [He moves to stand, leaning to give him a serious look.] I promise.
[On that note, he will leave him to his thoughts. There is, naturally, a reason he is making that promise.]
tw: unlife references
Date: 2025-09-26 09:27 am (UTC)Sometimes... people happen to find someone enjoyable, because they remind them so much of something. Maybe another person, an event in their past. In this case, Verso...
[His own gray eyes hold determination within, even as his expression eases into something more tired.]
You happen to remind me of me. I highly doubt we have the same past... [Because this man doesn't read similar in a very specific area.] but when I first arrived on this ship, it was also by force. I was hellbent on not being helped, to a point that I ended up... [He grips one of his own shoulders.] making some really stupid decisions.
Regardless of that... I would never try to force trust. [His brow pinches.] And I'm nothing like the Admiral. I'm just a man who's died multiple times, tried and failed to simply vanish, and then happened... to find a reason to return here.
no subject
Date: 2025-09-26 09:37 am (UTC)Verso has yet to make any particularly stupid decisions on the Barge, but that is largely because he doesn't have the emotional energy to bend towards doing so.]
Is this the part where I'm supposed to crack and tell you all my tragic secrets?
[He doesn't give away if anything about what was said was relatable.]
You're complicit. Here by choice to benefit from the system in this world. Whatever excuses or justifications you make to yourself doesn't change that. We're nothing alike, and I'm not here to entertain you or make you feel like you have a purpose.
no subject
Date: 2025-09-26 10:17 am (UTC)Secrets aren't meant to be forced or manipulated out.
[Despite that... Jamil leans a little back, into his chair, briefly thinking that last part over. Or, rather... calming himself enough to say the next thing without venom:]
Verso. I need to make one thing very clear. [His expression is unmistakably serious, eyes holding a touch of fierceness.] The Admiral - you - could never be what gives me purpose. My husband, my life outside of this place is mine because I worked my ass off for it. My graduation from college, my business that I built from the ground up, my marriage, and my family... If I left here today, I would still have all of that, because it's what I earned.
Hell, I gave "my" first deal to my inmate, because he earned it - not me. Inmates are not some means to an end, and I would never insult myself nor my inmate by thinking of them as anything less than someone I'm dedicated to helping.
[Well, for what it's worth, Verso managed to see what's beneath the calm, careful exterior. Nothing he's said reads as planned.]
no subject
Date: 2025-09-26 10:25 am (UTC)[He turns in his seat, resting his open book against one raised knee.]
You're back here because you want something. I don't care what it is. I don't care about you, your life, what you say you've done, what you want or what you say you've earned.
[Then, after a brief beat of a pause.]
I don't have anything to offer except to tell you that I don't need you. Find something better to do with your time than wasting it with somebody who doesn't want you hanging around.
no subject
Date: 2025-09-26 11:11 am (UTC)If you want to see a change... you don't just say you want the change to happen; you aim to make it happen. And this system will only ever be as good as the wardens within it.
[He shrugs and shakes his head.]
Even the kindest, most loving individual in the universe has at least a thin layer of selfishness within their actions. That is the core of existence: we give, we receive.
[He spread his hands.]
We bond.
no subject
Date: 2025-09-26 11:16 am (UTC)[He just... doesn't care. The sickly saccharine narrative being put to him isn't turning his mind.]
I don't have anything else to say to you. You can go and get on with your day.
no subject
Date: 2025-09-26 11:26 am (UTC)[He can't help the wry smile. How many times did he call the others idiots?]
Alright, you don't have to respond. But I will be back to bother you. It won't be like this next time... or any time after. [He moves to stand, leaning to give him a serious look.] I promise.
[On that note, he will leave him to his thoughts. There is, naturally, a reason he is making that promise.]