[TLV] IC Inbox

[palissant]

[No response can be gained via comms. He isn't interested in making himself available that way.

If you want him, come find him.]

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[inthebiblicalsense]

Ethan sighs himself, standing up straight and looking Verso in the eyes, "If you think telling me what you think my intentions are is going to get me to decide I don't actually want to try spending time with you, I can stand here for another hour and prove you wrong."

He isn't sure if it's something on his face, or the tone of his voice that makes people think he isn't sincere in his offers, but he does know that being accused of being kind because he's getting something out of it does get rather old after the many times he's had it happen.

"You're not a sad little puppy dog, you're a person. And even if you don't want to be friends, that doesn't make you a project either."

[palissant]

"I don't know enough about you to judge your intentions."

He points this out quite bluntly.

"What I do know is we've barely spoken in months and you only showed up at my door when you realised you hadn't noticed that I was doing badly enough to kill myself."

A sharp sigh through his nose.

"And if that's what it is, if it's some sense of guilt that you didn't see it sooner, if you're here now because only now is when you feel prompted to step up, then that's fine."

He gives a small wave of one hand, the arm he isn't leaning against.

"Because I'm not here to be anyone's project. You're not wrong there. But at least be honest with me."

No matter how hypocritical it might be of him to demand that.

[inthebiblicalsense]

Ethan has been doing his best to not be too honest. Not because he's trying to be deceitful, but he does look at the network, while also having a distinct understanding that people who strongly dislike the barge are often turned off by how open people could be when they do like the barge. It's a rather common pairing with people he's tried to be close enough to be there for and failed.

He folds his arms over his chest, feeling like yes, okay thats a valid question, but at the same time...

"Do you actually want me to be that honest? Because I can be." There is the implied 'but' hanging in the air though, seeing as that never seems to go well for people and he's trying to keep this within the realm of what he thinks is Verso's comfort zone.

[palissant]

His comfort zone is-- well, precious few people actually know what it is. About as many people who really know anything about him at all, which has been kept deliberately small by the fact he seems utterly unwilling to be open about himself beyond a surface level. There have been brief occasions when things have dipped a little deeper... and he has often found himself regretting it later.

"If you would."

He's asked once; it's not an opportunity that will be offered a second time. Shutting the door any time he likes is always an option and he hasn't done that yet. Despite how harsh he might have sounded, what he offered was an opportunity for him to not just decide to cut this interaction short.

"I didn't say all of that for no reason."

[inthebiblicalsense]

Ethan will, he just wanted to clarify, so thank you. Hard to tell between tone, vibes and the words coming out of your mouth that it wasn't just baiting him to prove some point, Verso. He's...unfortunately not had the best luck with making friends who are in bad mental places and is being cautious.

"Alright. Well, a small part is guilt, yes. But I think if it didn't exist at all I'd be an asshole." Or clearly not someone who prioritized people's health and safety, and that just isn't him.

"I do care though, about people in general, about you. Probably a lot more than I should, a lot more than what little social skills and currency I have allows me to show. And that isn't guilt, it's...more like hope and empathy." Which, alright, he does look a little uncomfortable saying so but then he has two boyfriends who arent the most sentimental people in the world, and it makes saying what's actually on his heart feel embarrassing.

"I was stuck, when I got here. And I don't mean to say I know how you feel, because I don't. but my best friend helped me through that. Not because we talked about it for hours, but because he was present, and helped me find pieces of myself I lost through doing mundane things I took for granted. He did that for free, and I want to pay it forward. Not because of my job, or because I need something from you, but because I can and I want to."

[palissant]

"I told you I'm not looking for friends."

He said it and will continue to say it, at least for the near to mid future, because letting too many people here that close feels too much like giving in when that kind of resistance is one of the few things he has left.

And... it still sounds very much like Ethan is mostly doing this for himself, but at least the demand for honesty was met, and he's not shrugging it off onto the 'people are worried about you why don't you care about that' line that has become so tiresome so quickly.

Verso steps out of the cabin, shutting the door firmly behind him.

"You're not coming in." Arms loosely folded. "We can use one of the common rooms and I'll give you a conversation. But that's all."

[inthebiblicalsense]

"I never said we would be." If just mentioning the word friend made him sensitive, well Ethan can't help that.

He takes a step back when Verso steps out, not all that surprised he isnt invited, "can I meet you in a few minutes in the one down the hall? I should put this away before it dries out if you don't want it." Because he still has the plate in his hand, and if they dried out he wouldnt want to share them with anyone else.

[palissant]

"Fine."

He's not going to linger, he just turns and walks away down the hallway towards the nearest common room.

[inthebiblicalsense]

Ethan heads to the lift, returning shortly empty handed. He isn't out of breath, he didn't rush, but also didn't make him sit too long.

When he comes back into the common room, he sits, a respectable distance away and gets comfy. "Have you ever sat and watched the tvs in the common rooms? I lost a couple hours once during a flood that was keeping me up, and there are some of the weirdest programs..."

[palissant]

"No."

This is a genuine answer - he really hasn't. Sitting for hours watching little pictures moving in a box isn't that high on his interests list.

"I tried watching one of them once - don't see the appeal."

[inthebiblicalsense]

"Im not really a tv person myself, but Fitz does like to show me weird foriegn and alien musicals. Half the time I cant understand them, but the music is still good?" He isn't deterred. That and its always kind of awkward when someone obviously isnt that into having a conversation and yet you still want to try.

He keeps his questions simple though, the kind you would ask any acquaintance you just met, well. Without knowing what sort of world they come from anyways.

"Do you have TV where you're from?"

[palissant]

A soft exhale. He folds his arms loosely over his chest.

"No, we don't."

But hey, they don't have radio either. Not the kind of thing you can produce in a place like that.

"The technology doesn't exist."

[inthebiblicalsense]

"Huh." Most of his friends, even if he thought they were from the distant past still had TV.

"Are you from earth? I dont actually remember when that technology was created..." He thought he was, since he isn't unaware that the man speaks French and has on the network, but weirder things have happened.

[palissant]

This is where being intentionally vague raises more questions than not, so he isn't. He also isn't entirely truthful.

"Yeah, I am."

Because it's technically true. He is from Earth, just a markedly different one than most other people. And... well, he can't answer the question about when television was created either.

[inthebiblicalsense]

Ethan waits a moment, letting it stretch for almost too long when Verso doesn't follow up with what he thought was an implied question.

"Um, what year? I'm from the twenty-sixth century, so it makes it a little harder to relate when most people I know are hundreds of years in my past."

[palissant]

A small shift in place. He does actually have to think for a moment about that, but,

"It's 1906."

... More or less. It isn't as if time has moved much at all within the Canvas. Gustave or Maelle would give a different answer, just to add to potential confusion, but somehow he isn't expecting that to come up.

"So, unrelatable, I suppose."

[inthebiblicalsense]

He isn't really aware of them as far as in relation to Verso, so not at all.

But despite him not knowing much about the turn of the century, it might surprise him that Ethan seems to sit up more and is quite interested.

"Could you tell me what that's like?"

[palissant]

"What it's like?"

It doesn't surprise him that Ethan is suddenly so interested, really. But the question is so naively phrased that-- well, no, he isn't actually surprised by that either.

"I don't have anything to compare it to." Being here doesn't count. "I just lived there."

[inthebiblicalsense]

"You dont have to compare it to anything. I mean, how was a usual day? Did you ride a horse, take a train to commute? I dont think cars were being mass produced until the 1910s, right?" He has to think about it, knows the approximate year of the first combustion engine anyways.

[palissant]

"I wouldn't know."

He briefly rubs two fingertips into his temple.

"I had an apartment in the city centre. Days were just what they were. I went about my business, worked, went out for meals occasionally, just like anybody else."

Sixty-seven years ago, anyway.

[inthebiblicalsense]

"You know, you can change the subject." Ethan has been asking questions, but its more to keep the conversation going and his own interest in the past.

He can tell it doesn't seem to be his favorite subject, or perhaps its because he doesn't want to be here, but is because what else is he going to do?

[palissant]

"Yes, I know."

But to what? There isn't anything he feels a pressing need to talk about that won't inevitably lead to something he doesn't. Because that just tends to be the way these things go.

"As soon as I can think of one I want to delve into, you'll be the first to know."

The absolutely thudding headache and persistent rolling nausea he's been dealing with certainly isn't helping matters.

[inthebiblicalsense]

Ethan pauses a moment, before he decides, well? He can change the subject too he supposes.

"Are you going to find it as off putting as the bread if I offer to go get us some tea?" You know, for something pleasant to drink, "when I had my first toll, I didn't realize I would have to relive just waking up from a week long coma. The headache was terrible on top of everything else but something hot to drink was at least nice."

[palissant]

"If you like."

He doesn't actually like tea that much but the tea in the dining hall is better than the coffee, for how low a bar that is. Like drinking dish water with coffee grounds in it.

He's allowed to be a snob about one thing.

"I'll be here."

[inthebiblicalsense]

"Do you want any honey, sugar or milk in it?" The tea on offer is probably nicer than what's in the dining hall given what he usually has is what ever Norton or Fitz drinks and he feels like they probably have a decent authority on what's good given how much of it they consume.

But, he will get up and go to grab them both a cup of something nice as soon as he gives his answer.